Youthful child
by Dear author
Summary: As they say: 'Sometimes love takes the long way home'.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Just experimenting on Romance. **

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**Chapter 1 - Children**

Like every bad consequence in one's every bad decision, it all began beautifully fast. It began, well it all began with a _kiss_. One moment, the love of her life was kissing her and in her shock, she stood there motionless, unable to match reality to dream.

Irie-kun...Irie-kun has always been like a storm to her. Despite his icy disposition, Irie-kun was a ball of fire to her. He always knew how to ignite her in flames whether in embarrassment, in furious anger, in pain and of course, in love.

He grabbed her and pulled her into an endarkened alley where they argued their usual. He was angry at her for revealing his childhood pictures, and she was angry at him for belittling her and her friends.

Deep down, she confessed she loved the way his grey eyes bored only to her when they fought. She loved their intensity every time he deigned to look down on her and if she focuses only on that, she can almost block out the disparaging words that come out of his perfect mouth.

Irie-kun's eyes _burned _and _glinted_ in the dark, shining a light that came from nowhere else but from within him.

When he pulled away, his eyes looked _changed_ and a different kind of fire ignited within her. When he bent to capture her lips again, he was gentle and she trusted him enough to let herself drown in him.

In the shadows of the night where scornful eyes cannot see, the two of them fell in a love spell that neither of them wanted to untangle themselves from. Away from the crowd, they became true to what they really felt for each other - a love so strong it overpowered logical thought.

It all began with a spiteful kiss to shut her up and ended with her locked in his heated embrace, his body strong and marvelous above her. His hair was in disarray; lips swollen with her kiss and cheeks tinged red. He looked ready to combust but he never looked more beautiful to her than ever.

To love is to hurt and the first time he showed what his love entailed, she was in pain the whole time and it never stopped until he did. But hope was a powerful thing. It burned brightly at the back of her mind and she let herself drift away in a dream where a new beginning for them bloomed anew.

But a dream can quickly turn into a nightmare.

''Kotoko…I…'' All of a sudden, the love of her life wrenched himself free of her and the cold rushed in. He pulled his pants quickly; his movements ungraceful. When she didn't move, he'd dressed her up with trembling hands and wiped the strange fluids trickling down her thighs with his sleeve. His hands felt cold as ice. He mumbled something that sounded like an apology but Kotoko can't hear much over the loud furious beating of her heart.

He ran his hand up his brown shaggy hair, jaws tensed and his eyes searching their surroundings. His feet shuffled and his hands that were just holding her so lovingly a scant minutes ago were tightened into fists. His forehead glistened with sweat despite the frosty air and for once, he couldn't look at her in the eye.

''What's...what's happening…'' she mumbled to herself. Her mind slowly speeding up, catching on. In the movies, the couple would kiss some more, declare their love for each other and then snuggle into bed. But Kotoko finally realised they had no bed. All she had was a hidden snicket, overcasted by a frame of construction wood and structured steel, large buckets of trash, and a hard wall.

At a lost, all she could suddenly think of was her father.

Her Irie-kun uttered her name softly and she thought that it was the same kind of tone her father used once - when he explained how her mother died. A wave of revulsion rose within her slowly. The heat he inspired this time felt greasy on her skin.

''Go away,'' she whispered. He tensed up as if fighting the urge to do just as she said. She saw his hand come up as if to touch her. Her heart leaped with hope but he withdrew his hand back and she knew everything was wrong.

She closed her burning eyes, unable to see any part of him anymore. All she felt was ice. She wanted to be home and wake up to find this all a nightmare and then she would learn her lesson and cease to love him. ''Just please leave me.'' The numbness started to fade; the pain materialising.

''Koto-''

Swallowing her ruined pride and steeling herself from the pain she knew would come, she forced her weak legs to walk away from him. She heard him call her name again but he didn't come after her.

In the shadow of the night, she mistook them as lovers when in actuality they were naught but children.

All the way to her room, she ignored how the pain has escalated into a burn between her legs and forced her gait to be as steady as she can. She'd wrapped her school jacket around her waist to hide the faded pink stain on her pale thighs. If worse comes to worst, surely people will just think she had an 'accident' which would not have been far from the truth. She bit her lip all the way home and ignored the taxi driver's query about her health.

At home, she smiled and bidded everyone goodnight, refused any refreshments and jumped straight to the bathroom. She didn't cry until she was safe under the covers of her bed.

The next morning, she sneaked out and dumped her soiled clothes into their neighbour's garbage bin a few houses down the road. She didn't dare utter a word at him, nor look at him in the eye. He was the same. Everyone, of course took notice and assumed they were fighting again.

No one knew she had sinned and brought dishonour to her father. If her dad knew…

She was in a daze the following weeks afterwards. For a short time, she thought everything was going to be fine. Her father and her uncle continued to be friends. There were no shrieks of horror coming from her auntie and even Yuki seemed quiet nowadays, watching his brother and sometimes her silently. Kotoko avoided them both because of this. Yuki's suspicion made her more nervous.

Everything was back to normal as she dreamed. She started college and sat with her friends. She avoided Irie-kun at all costs and ignored the comments she couldn't help but hear about him hanging around with some girl called ''Matsumoto'' during tennis. She also ignored how she can sometimes feel him looking at her.

She smiled until she felt like it was all natural. She met new people and sat beside new classmates. She ignored Kin. She started feeling a little sick. She thought it was a flu due to the change of seasons, or maybe a result of all the stress she has gone through lately.

It was nothing to worry about until she spotted a pregnant woman outside of the coffee shop she and her friends were sitting at one afternoon. Kotoko's turned to stone and despite wanting to rush to the nearest clinic, she was too stunned and horrified to move. She hoped to herself that surely fate wouldn't be too cruel.

Her next thought was to get rid of it.

''Kotoko…Are you really okay?'' One of her best friend, Jinko asked, placing a tentative hand on her arm. ''We know there's something wrong but we can't wait for you to open up anymore.'' Her two friends shared a look at each other. ''Please tell us?''

''Jinko…Satomi…''

They shuffled closer towards her, eager to listen and determined to help but Kotoko feared their judgement. Kotoko was scared they will shun her and dispose her; never to talk to her again. After all, Kotoko was very very far from marriage and she was a girl who lost her virginity _against a wall_ in some alley like she was...like she was...

Satomi reached over and held her hand. The air around them grew heavy and stifling.

Jinko glanced up and saw a waiter looking intent to come to their table. Kotoko curled up even smaller in her seat, starting to cry. Jinko let out a growl and shook her head at the waiter who immediately spun on his heel and walked away.

''He's gone now.''

''Jinko.'' Kotoko whimpered. She pulled her cold hands from her friends and clasped them against her stomach. ''Satomi…''

''Kotoko. What is it? Did that idiot-Irie say something again?! What did he do!''

''Kotoko.''

Her dear friends, Jinko and Satomi who had been with her since childhood looked ready to cry. Jinko looked ready to declare war, nearly bristling on her seat while Satomi clutched her arm, tears daintily falling from her eyes. She was so sad and scared that Kotoko couldn't help but let out a disbelieving laugh. They had been through so many things together, shared so much laughter and pranks together. Kotoko thought that whatever happens, she would always treasure them.

So she told them it hurt. She told them how hard it was to remain as normal as she can. She told them she disposed all evidence of her sin. She told them she got rid of everything. Everything.

''_I'm pregnant.'' _The words fell on them like doom.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Kotoko**

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_Four years later…_

Kotoko scrubbed the suds off the plate, smiling back at the beautiful morning shining from their window. She wiped her hands dry, picked up her ring and pulled on her blazer.

''Honey, we're goin' to be late!'' She sang, sitting down at the bottom of the stairs to put on her heels. Warmth enveloped her from behind, lips landing on her cheek. She turned and beamed at the love of her life, pushing herself up to kiss him on his lips.

''Let's put on your shoes, kay?''

Hiro, her son nodded with an answering smile, offering his mother his feet, giggling of what was to come. ''Yes mummy.''

Kotoko held her son's foot preciously and tickled his feet. For one moment, they shared this moment together as mother and son as they always have and they always will until her son eventually grows too old for foot tickles. Kotoko smiled and glanced down on her wrist. ''Time's up!'' With one last kiss, she dressed her son's feet. ''Time for school!''

Her son hooted, fist rising up in the air. Kotoko stood up and grabbed her purse. She knew for a fact that it wouldn't be like this for long. Soon enough, her son would be a nightmare in the morning. But today, her son proceeded on jumping in excitement.

''Not too loud, hon. Mr. Potts is downstairs, remember? We don't want to wake him up in case he's still asleep.'' She scolded softly.

''Mr. Potts' awake early, mum. He gets up at six!''

She shook her head with a smile. ''But still, it is not nice to disturb people, darlin'.''

Her thoughts went to the retired doctor downstairs of their flat. Without the grumpy old man, she may still be juggling two or three housekeeping jobs at the same time. Without his kindness, she really didn't know where she and her son would be.

'_Back at home in Tokyo, undoubtedly.'_

She vanquished a train of thought before a familiar face completely materialised in her mind. She couldn't afford those kinds of thoughts right now. Kotoko, during the four years, has mastered the art of controlling her thoughts. It was a gift time has given her.

''Mum!'' Kotoko was jerked out of her reverie. That, and her son.

She smiled down and kneeled in front of her son, caressing his chubby cheeks just because she can. Not able to stop herself, she kissed both his cheeks and nuzzled his neck, sniffing his baby cologne. Her son chuckled, ticklish again.

''Hm! My baby smells soooo gooood!'' she wrapped her arms around her sweet boy. He was so unlike his father - so affectionate and shy. ''You excited for school, baby?''

''…'m not a baby!'' her son pouted but she saw the shine in his eyes and the smile he was trying to hide. Kotoko knew her son secretly likes being babied.

Kotoko smiled and pulled at her son's uniform, brushing away the invisible dust and straightening out the non-existent wrinkles. ''Right, my love. The bus will pick you up in the morning for school. You don't move until the bus stops completely.'' She waited until her son nodded. Kotoko smiled encouragingly. ''After school, you'll go to the club with Miss Shoko. It should be fun! Oh, and I think you'll be baking today! Then, after that, mummy will come pick you in the evening, okay?'' Her son bounced at his feet, grey eyes at the door. Kotoko redirected his gaze to her, frowning to make a point. ''Always wait for mummy, ok?''

''Yes mummy. Let's go!''

Kotoko caressed her son's downy brown hair. A part of her was sad that he didn't inherit her red hair instead. The only thing that he seemed to have inherited from her was...well, her father thought was her chin.

At Hiro's current age, her son looked a lot like _Yuki_. Kotoko's bright gaze flickered before she closed her eyes and placed a lingering kiss on his forehead.

''If you ever get lost..''

''Stay where I am and wait for mummy. Don't follow strangers and don't look like you're lost.''

Chuckling, she picked up her son's ID and the pointed her written number on the laminated page.

''This is mummy's number and where's your phone?''

Her son turned to point out his backpack. ''It's on silent in my bag, mummy.''

''Good. But remember son, do not use your phone in school! You know how much work I needed to do to persuade your teachers to let you bring it! It's only for emer-gencies!'' After all, mothers don't usually give phones – no matter how cheap – to their 5 year old sons.

Perhaps it was her mother instinct that pushed her to think of every situation that could happen and the extra precautions she could do to counter them.

Hiro was her light; her love, and her everything. There was _nothing_ in the world that she wouldn't do for him. She will always protect her son. Always.

''Inhaler?''

''Right pocket!''

Kotoko felt for the device and indeed it was in his right pocket. ''Okay, don't play too hard. And make sure you have your inhaler with you _at all times!_ Especially at lunch-break and P.E – wait, do you have P.E today?''

''Yes mum! No mum! '' Hiro finally broke out from her grasp, skipping impatiently towards the closed door. ''Mum, come on! Let's wait for the bus downstairs!''

''What do you mean yes and no mum? Do you have PE, honey?'' Hiro sighed and shook his head, shuffling his feet.

''Okay, okay…Hang on.'' She strutted towards the kitchen to check if everything was off.

_Tap, lights, stove, oven, doors locked, windows closed._

''Honey, did you turn off the lights upstairs?''

Hiro nodded eagerly, bouncing excitedly on his feet.

''Taps?''

''Yup! Come on, mummy!'' he pouted, making his mother chuckle.

''Yes. Yes, sweetie, coming.'' She turned off the TV and turned off the last light.

The moment she opened the door, her son burst out and raced down the stairs. She looked over her shoulder. ''Hiro! Careful on the stairs—'' she clamped her lips shut and looked around. She had forgotten of their neighbours.

''Yes mum!—Ack!''

Kotoko nearly dropped her keys, running as fast and carefully as she can towards her son.

''I'm okay!'' Her son stood up, dusting himself with a cheshire grin on his cherub face.

Kotoko softened. ''Hiro, baby. Always be careful please!''

Her son was already running away towards the bus stop, turning now and then to grin wildly at her. ''Watch where you're going Hiro!'' Her son stopped promptly and ran no more. His smile turned sheepish.

She ran her hand in her son's hair, ruffling them. ''Wait for mummy.''

''Sorry…''

It was a little odd at first, to see those grey eyes shining and so full of innocent joy in her son's face. Not even Yuki smiled like that. No, her Hiro was perfect and she'd do everything so that he'd grow up as a wonderful adult.

The tenement they live in was located in the countryside of Kobe. The building was made of a red-brick stone, surrounded by copses of trees and berry bushes. Despite its luxurious look, the rent was affordable. Having her job as a 'senior receptionist' in Kobe's General Hospital also helped. Now, she didn't need to work three house-keeping jobs at once for her and her son.

For once in her life, Kotoko's life was perfect. She had a beautiful son, a warm home, friends she could trust, and a regular paid job. Old Dr. Potts from downstairs was a lovable caring man, despite his grumpy disposition. She was also aware that he probably pulled some strings for her in the hospital. At work, her colleagues and manager were friendly and always very understanding of her predicament too.

Everything was going well for her. Even her father visits every weekend – sometimes a fortnight when it gets too busy. He had also kept his word that he won't tell the Iries about her - just that she was living her life happily in Kyoto - not Kobe, just in case Noriko Irie decides to hunt her down.

* * *

_She yelled at the top of her lungs, hoping he would listen; voice breaking in the effort. ''You want me to enter a loveless marriage, pa?''_

_Her father stuttered as his and society's values boiled inside him. ''This is…this is…Kotoko!_''

_Seeing his hesitation, she quickly tried to reason with him, grabbing his in her cold ones. ''I will raise him up papa. Yes, Irie-kun is the father and they all deserve to know but please, can't you see? I need to find myself, gain my bearings and if you tell them, you will rob me of that chance…'' Her father opened his mouth but his eyebrows were still knotted. In his mind, it was only right that the father of her child know what he did. In his mind, forcing them to marry each other would solve everything but Kotoko knew Irie-kun and she knew he would only come to hate her even more._

_ ''He is no good for me, papa. He is no good for me and you know it. Please papa, help me…''_

* * *

The white school bus beeped and pulled over at their side of the road.

''Hiro!'' The other children called at her son. Her son's smile widened to an excited grin and he seemed to have developed a permanent bounce on his feet. Kotoko wished then that his happiness would never dim.

''Mum?''

Kotoko crouched to bring them at eye to eye. ''I love you, my Hiro, my love.''

His cheeks grew pink and mumbled:. ''…love you too, mummy.'' Kotoko's smile widened and she wiggled her hands at her son. His eyes widened at the threat and tried to run. She caught him in her arms and together they waddled towards the door. It opened with a hiss. She smiled at the driver and gave him a quick wave.

''Good morning, Mr. Ino!''

''Morning, dear.''

''How's your day so far?'' Kotoko leaned down to kiss her son's temple who was busy trying to place his foot on the bus.

''Well...it's still mornin' honey.'' Kotoko laughed and guided her son to the door so he wouldn't fall on his face the moment she lets go. A chorus of children's laughter sounded. ''Please drive safely, Mr. Ino!''

The driver gave a thumbs-up. ''You got it, missy!''

Kotoko blew her son a kiss and waved until the bus was out of sight. Then, with a happy sigh, she called for her taxi to work.

* * *

Kotoko sighed as she ignored the growing ache in her feet. Her black Mary Jane's clacked steadily against the plain blue marbled floor while behind her three new junior doctors followed her. She pasted a bright polite smile on her face and glanced over her shoulder.

''That is the way towards the paediatrics ward.'' She said, pointing at the closed double doors. ''You'll need your IDs to enter. Dr. Nick would provide you with one soon.''

The one with the messy mass of black hair stepped forwards and nervously brandished his. Kotoko smiled and took the proffered ID. With a click, the door relaxed and she pushed in. ''Dr. Nick's office is just this way.'' She announced as they stopped in front of another door labelled with the doctor's name. She knocked.

''Come in,'' was the muffled reply. The doctor was seated in his office with another young man in front of his desk. They paused and smiled amiably as she entered.

''So sorry to disturb sir, but you've got three more students here.''

''Oho!'' Dr. Nick patted his mahogany desk which was littered with books and lots of papers as usual. He stood up and ambled next to her at the door. Kotoko beckoned the boys in with a welcoming smile.

''Oh man, Mr. Soham, isn't it?'' the older doctor shook every one of his new students' hands whilst the boys tried to hide how pleased they were that their new mentor knew them by name already. They did not need to know she emailed the professor 5 minutes earlier.

Dr. Nick turned to her. ''Been busy, Miss Aihara?''

''As always, sir.'' She replied with a grin.

He laughed. ''Is your shift ending soon?''

She glanced down at her watch needlessly and nodded. ''Yes sir.''

''Good. Good. Say hi to Hiro-kun for me.'' Kotoko beamed at the mention of her son. ''Of course, sir. I'll take my leave then.'' She bowed at the boys with a smile.

''Enjoy the rest of your day.''

''Thank you,'' they echoed.

Kobe General hospital had been bustling as usual and it has been a challenging day as well at the reception desk. Between her admin tasks and phone queries, welcoming new and old patients and their visitors, there was hardly time to even grab something to eat and maintain the workload herself and her other colleague.

But all Kotoko needed to do was to think of their household bills, of food and of the smiling face of her son and like magic, she could conquer every day. She tilted her chin up with a more genuine smile, her heels clacking faster against the gleaming floor. She had 30 minutes left of duty and soon, she'll see her Hiro again.

* * *

Kotoko flung her coat around her and grabbed her bag from her locker. ''See you tomorrow, Dara.'' She says as she passed her friend who was re-touching her lipstick.

''Oh, okay! See ya.'' Dara replied and Kotoko glanced over her shoulder to smile at her friend, gait unfaltering. She had to hurry if she didn't want to miss her bus. She had 5 minutes. A last-minute report had held her up.

''—Kotoko!'' She looked up but didn't stop her descent down the stairs.

With an apologetic smile, ''Oh, Dr. Ayano, I'm sorry but I'm in a hurry!'' She reached the next flight of stairs and repeatedly apologized at the doctor in her head.

''Kotoko! Wait!''

Despite her need to leave, Kotoko had to stop. The young doctor re-emerged and met her eyes as he jogged down the stairs to catch up with her. She noticed that he was not in his lab-coat and that he had his bag with him.

''Kotoko, are you going to pick up Hiro-kun?''

Kotoko tried not to shuffle her feet.

'_My bus…My bus…Maybe I should just book a taxi but that would take some waiting and money…'_

Kotoko stiffened as a hand reached out and tucked a stray red hair behind her ear. In her haste, her hair bun had loosened. She blinked, trying to read the man's thoughts, although she had always been bad at reading people anyway. Unlike Irie—

''Let me give you a ride, Kotoko.''

She shook her head – her usual reaction – and started to step back. ''I couldn't- Oh, I wouldn't want to impose on you…''

Again, the young doctor reached out to her but this time with more force. He pulled her back with a frown; brown eyes widening in alarm. ''Kotoko. Be careful!'' Kotoko looked over her shoulder and bit her lip. She had forgotten the stairs. If she had fallen, she wouldn't be able to pick up Hiro. He'd be waiting for his mother… Kotoko glanced at her watch and already desperate, she looked up at her distant friend, hands clasped in supplication.

''I'm sorry, Dr. Ayano, please, I think I'll need a ride…If you don't mind, please can you—'' His hand fell on hers and he drew them down.

''I already offered, Kotoko. Of course, I'll give you a ride.'' He said smoothly. ''About time you accept, actually.'' He added with a slight teasing tone.

She laughed nervously and let the man guide her down the stairs. He was being too slow that Kotoko pulled her hand away from his arm to hurry down the steps. ''I'm sorry, Dr. Ayano. Please, can we hurry? I'm afraid of traffic!'' She looked up apologetically.

The young man just laughed but didn't move. ''Only if you stop calling me Dr. Ayano. Seriously, Kotoko, you know it makes me feel old and I'm not really a doctor yet, remember?''

If she wasn't in a state of stress, she would've fidgeted and blushed like a schoolgirl. Still, her cheeks reddened a little and she ducked her head in apology. With a handsome smile, the young doctor started jogging the stairs. ''Come on then, Kotoko. Hiro-kun is waiting for us.'' He said as he passed her.

Kotoko breathed in relief and followed her friend to his car.

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